After finishing Haruko Obokata’s memoir, The Day, a profound restlessness lingered in my heart for a long time. It was not because of the scientific truth, but because I saw the truth of our society—its coldness and its utter ruthlessness.

When I felt my life was reaching its end, regardless of my own will, what floated before my eyes was the flame of a candle, flickering as if it might vanish at any moment.

Life is like a faint candlelight, swaying helplessly in this cold, grey world. The melancholy that shrouds the entire body; the physical form ravaged by illness; the sleepless nights—even when sleep is sought through the power of medication, it is nothing but a succession of nightmares until the moment of waking. Anger, resentment, doubt, loneliness, and fear… every waking second is occupied by these negative emotions. And the only shield left to fend them off is an endless stream of tears. How does one go on living?

The frantic desire for that flame not to vanish was pure instinct. Having experienced that desperation countless times, I fought to protect it even while being driven by the sudden impulse to just blow it out once and for all.

Is it hope? That final thing sealed at the bottom of Pandora’s box. A hope that is visible but forever out of reach. A hope that exists only to make the living endure agonizing torture time and time again. A ridiculous hope. A sinful hope. No, it is not hope; there must be something else in this world, a different kind of strength that keeps a person alive.

I always thought I was guarding my flame all by myself. But I realized then that even when my candle was about to go out, there were people there to share their flame with me.

It is the connection between human beings. It is the friendship from one’s most trusted confidants. It is the affection from one’s closest family. It is the sympathy from those in society who understand, encourage, and help. It is the empathy from everyone who treats one simply as a fellow human being. It is Love. It is only with love that this world gradually gains warmth and regains its color.

I will live on, passing the flame shared with me to someone else. That is what I intend to write in today’s diary.

As I reached the final line, tears finally broke through and streamed down my face.